23 Though He was delivered up according to God’s determined plan and foreknowledge, you used lawless people to nail Him to a cross and kill Him. Acts 2:23
My words…
This prayer, O God, is for You alone. I dedicate these words that tear at my soul on their way to the page. For no other topic could both rip my heart open and heal it at the same time. The cross. Two perpendicular beams – a simple construction for such an earth and heaven-shattering occasion. But You had it planned from the beginning – before the beginning. You knew which tree would be felled to form Your cross. You knew how many lashes to expect, the explicit insults that would be hurled, the number of thorns on Your crown. The exact weight of the cross was known by You as was the number of steps it would take to bear it to Golgatha. The Plan was horrifically blood-soaked and wonderfully perfect. Put God to death so I could live. It is hard to contemplate for too long at once. For a time, I couldn’t hold the image of You being held on the cross by the weight of my sin. I covered my eyes with my hands and thought about rainbows and tulips. But now, I open my arms wide to the cross, just as You did while You were nailed to it. If I don’t embrace the cross, I insult Your Plan. I wish The Plan could have been different – not so brutal, not so heinous. But I know that there was no other way. For if there were, You would have determined it. I often wonder about the cross after You used it to change the world. Was anyone else crucified on it? Was it stained with someone else’s blood as well? I rather hope not. But it really doesn’t matter, does it? The cross is gone, decaying under layers of dirt. But Your glory still radiates, illuminating the path to You. And one day, I am going to run to You, knowing full well I couldn’t have made it without those two precious perpendicular beams.
