Your words…
The Lord spoke to Aaron, “When you enter the Tent of Meeting, you must distinguish between the holy and the common…” Leviticus 10:10
Araunah said, “Why has my lord the king come to his servant?” David replied, “To buy the threshing floor from you in order to build an altar to the Lord.” Araunah said, “My lord the king may take whatever he wants.” The king answered, “No, I insist on buying it from you, for I will not offer to the Lord my God burnt offerings which cost me nothing.” 2 Samuel 24:21-24 selected verses
My words…
Praise
These words of Yours, spoken to Aaron millennia ago, are the foundation and inciting action for my published prayer journey. I reasoned that I should not bring my common words before You; words that have been weighed and found wanting do not belong in a prayer before Your throne. My desire was to offer prayers plump with meaning and honesty, wrapped in holiness. Looking back, I can see I missed the mark at times. But one thing I know: My words are uncommon. No one else has prayed them before I did.
For the past few days You have received prayers and worship which You have never heard from me before. However, these moments of praise and lament did not flow from me naturally since I was reading every word from a book of liturgy. I read, I chanted, I prayed, I listened, I put the book away. Thousands upon thousands of people have prayed and chanted these same words over the years. I balanced this experience with my usual free-spirited style of worship, and a question formed in my mind: Are my prayers and praise holy enough? Are they uncommon enough? They certainly don’t sound anything like what I have been reciting through liturgy. For example, I usually do not begin a prayer to You with a salutation. You know my prayer is to You since I believe there is no other god but You. I usually do not end my prayer with an Amen or a Let It Be So. It sounds like an ending to a book (The End), and I don’t want it to be the end. I want my years of prayers and adoration to be one continuous string of light, twinkling at Your feet forever – a string that grows longer each day. After meditating on my liturgical worship, I believe I know why I left the sanctuary so…joyless: My worship to You was too easy. I didn’t expend any effort. It cost me nothing except forty minutes of my time. It was worship, but, for me, it was inexpensive worship.
My Liturgy
My collection of prayers and praise form my own personal liturgy. I have gone back and recited prayers to You years after I wrote them. My liturgy is imperfect, littered with misspellings, bad grammar, and, perhaps, even worse theology. But every thought is mine, and every word is dedicated to You with a heart gushing with praise and exultation, pleas for forgiveness, and petitions for those I love and those I have never met. It hasn’t cost me anything worth mentioning compared to Your sacrifice, but it has cost me something. And this small, uncommon sacrifice, I offer to You as one more light in the string.
