Lord, how long will You forget me? Forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me? Consider me and answer, Lord my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death. My enemy will say, I have triumphed over him,” and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in Your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in Your deliverance. I will sing to the Lord because He has treated me generously. Psalm 13, a psalm of David
My words…
Praise
I view my prayers as offerings of time and thought and faith. I bring before You various expressions as responses to Your words to me. You speak. I listen. I respond. Being Omniscient God, You know my prayer before I pray it. You know my prayer without me having to say it out loud; I can just think it, and it’s a prayer. Which got me thinking. The prayers I verbalize (write) are only honest to a point because I am only honest with everyone to a point. It’s a defense mechanism (A human term for humans!). Being completely open with others can cause all sorts of drama and trauma. But is that true with You? David obviously didn’t have a problem being completely open with You. He filled some of his prayers with barbs and complaints that make me wince. How dare he speak to You that way? Who does he think he is anyway? Oh yeah, he’s the man after Your own heart. He stood firm in the shadow of a giant. He was anointed king then spent years on the run for his life. He faced danger as a shepherd, as a solider, as a king. When you rescued him, he wrote songs about it. He knew You could stand up against his brutal honesty because it was always surrounded by declarations of adoration and gratitude. And I read that although David ranted and railed, he ranted and railed to You – the only God in existence. You were his only Savior. You were his only Deliverer. That’s honesty robed in faith.
Prayer for me
I have yet to stand in the shadow of a giant or flee for my life. Do I have the same right to be honest with You? If I understand correctly “no respecter of persons” then I believe that I hold that same right. I’m not sure I have put into thought what I truly feel, let alone verbalize it. (Is this even a good idea? Not sure.) But here goes: I don’t have a question of You forgetting about me or turning Your face from me, which is the basis for my first complaint. If You know who I am, and You know my struggle, then why the wait? Where’s Your answer? Sure, I realize that You are not a gumball machine, but I’m talking decades here! Will I even see the answers before I die? (Whew. This is not easy. How did David do it?) And another thing. Evil is everywhere. In every crevice and cranny. Are the archangels being overrun? Has the trumpet of the Lord gone silent? I don’t expect holy behavior from the world. Civilized is close enough. How much longer will the rapes, mutilations, torture, and murders persist around the globe? The planet has been spinning for a gazillion years. I would have thought we’d have gotten farther along by now. (Okay, I’m done.)
More praise
Well, that wasn’t as cathartic as I thought it would be. I pray with the weight of my entire spirit that You are not offended with me. I couldn’t handle that. Was it honest? Yep. Was it necessary? Nope. And truthfully, I think I know the answers to all of my ranting questions. One can’t be a follower of Christ for as long as I have and not know a little of how You work. So, I will wait on You while I continue my petitions. You are my only Savior, my only Deliverer. It may sound like a cop-out to some, but it’s actually honesty robed in faith.
