Lord, reveal to me the end of my life and the number of my days. Let me know how short-lived I am. You, indeed, have made my days short in length, and my lifespan as nothing in Your sight. Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor. Psalm 39:4-5
My words…
With You, Lord, I may approach You with any number of ramblings, questions, complaints, musings, revelations, doubts, and requests. It is not lost on me that this is astonishing to say the least. I, a simple, undeserving soul, have unlimited access to the Ancient of Days, the One who thunders in the heavens, the Creator of the ends of the earth, the only true God. I know this because David knew it. And David wrote it.
Like in this Psalm. He is not asking of you the date of his death as if he could mark it on his calendar. His heart was too much like yours to make such a foolish request. I think he was having one of those introspective days when he looked back on his life and considered what was to come. I’ve had those days myself. Memories of my childhood pop into my mind when I hear an old song. Images of my wedding day and the births of my children scroll across my eyes like a diorama. I hear peels of laughter as one jumps into a pool while another sings a silly song about Pop-Tarts. I reflect on the innumerable words I have heard from teachers and have read in books, humorous conversations with friends, embraces with those who were hurting, and alone time with You. Cleaning toilets, baking cookies, teaching grammar, making mistakes, sleeping in, watching baseball—a lifetime of doing, thinking, and resting. I’ve already lived a full life, and I’m not done. And yet, it’s all a vapor. Poof, I’m here. Poof, I’m gone. My wee life is just one of gazillions that have been and will be on this blue marble. But I don’t mind because it marks a place in Your infinity that is wholly me. A pin prick on the timeline of earth, but it’s my pin prick. You created me for that space so I may live and laugh and love. I am so grateful. I pray I have been and will continue to be a pleasing aroma to You and not a stinging smoke.
